The end of an era

After outliving her estimated life expectancy by at least 100%, we had to make the decision to humanely euthanize Luna Moth on 8/18/10.  Her heart condition had progressed to the point that all exposed skin was more gray than pink, she would pant, her arthritis was making even petting her painful and her dementia was advanced to the point that she would pee everywhere and not know that it was a problem.  She also didn't always recognize me.  The most painful symptom of all.  And she was angry and in pain.

I am blessed to still have very good friends working at the animal hospital who were willing to come out to the house for Luna.  I don't want to go into the details of her final moments, but the hours before hand were mostly great.  When Veronica and I got to the house, Luna was having a "good moment" and we had lots of cuddles, some time outside in the lawn and a lot of purring.  I want to remember that time.  She was still so beautiful, but it was obvious life was more painful than enjoyable.

Thank you Genevieve and Chelsea for being such amazing friends that you could be there for the most difficult choice I've ever had to make.

I love you Luna Moth, the Baby Goddess.  You will always be in my heart.

Sullivan Boo

Sullivan is out of our home. He was supposed to go to a farm on Saturday. Well he did go to the farm. My sister brought him on the word of her friend who works there. Unfortunately the people who owned the farm apparently didn't want Sully.  He was turned into a shelter that afternoon.  My sister rescued him today and has set him up with food, water and shelter to be an outside cat in her development. I'm just hoping he's going to be okay.

In the mean time I've still be trying to find homes for the other cats on the list, although I really want to keep Dewey... This is brutal and painful and horrible. And I hate myself.

Re-Homing Family

Times are beyond tough and it has been determined that in order to help our familial situation, we have to, and I hate this phrase, "thin the herd."  To be honest, twelve cats is a herd, but this is the most difficult situation I have found myself in, besides the whole trying to avoid foreclosure thing...

When I was working at the veterinary hospital, I had discounted veterinary care and vaccines, and I was a stray pet adoption coordinator, which of course meant I adopted a lot of cats.  Now that I'm a stay at home mom fighting for my home and family, I know that some of these cats would be happier with someone with more time, energy and resources with which to shower them.  Not all of them, I couldn't bear that. I can barely bear losing any of them.

In order to do this, I had to make "the List."

"The List" is the cats to whom I am most able to say Goodbye.  I feel badly for my husband because Sullivan is first on the list.  The issues we've had with Sully have not resolved.  He is still urinating inappropriately and attacking me.  Thank heavens he likes the baby.  He's also riling up many of the other cat.  It breaks my husband's heart, but he is aware that Sully has to go.  Calliope and Persephone, my skittish kitties would probably be happier in a house without a lot of other cats.  I always hoped they would come out of their shells with me, particularly Persephone, because I have a soft spot for polydactyls, but so far they haven't very much.  Calliope is higher on the list than Persephone, because of  the aforementioned soft spot.  Last on the list, very last, are Pigeon and Dewey.  They absolutely must be adopted together because since the day they were born they have never been separated and they are very bonded to each other.

I have had to accept that Sully would probably be "okay" as an inside/outside cat, which goes against everything I believe about the appropriate housing of cats.  But, in the right environment, he has the temperament that would probably lend to surviving the pitfalls of such an existence.  I would require that he have constant access to shelter, food and water, all vaccines including feline leukemia and plenty of time with human interaction.  Long games of fetch would be ideal.

I would love it if Calliope went to someone who understands that she likes to push buttons that make sound.  She used to play with our printer/fax machine and make it make noise.  That would amuse her for hours.  Honestly, I have a friend who would be perfect for Calliope, and who had originally accepted my Sterling Kitten Anya, but I can't give her up.  Unfortunately my friend's leasing agent requires any cats to be declawed, and I refuse to have any of the cats declawed.  Anya was declawed against my will when she was a kitten and I hate myself for letting that happen.  I'm hoping that we can convince the leasing agent that Soft Claws are acceptable.

Persephone should go to a tender person willing to give her time to eventually come out of her shell.  She's a quiet, shy lady who loves basking in windows and lounging on our pellet stove.  Someone who loves her big gorgeous paws.  I live for her gentle head bumps and long soulful stares.

If we can keep Dewey and Pigeon, I would be thrilled.  Dewey has grown up to be huge and so outgoing and sweet.  Pigeon is a gentle, silly, curtain-climber who licks the baby's toes.

I know logically that we ended up with too many cats for our situation, but emotionally I hate this.  I have been going through all the stages of grief over this.  I cried most of last week just thinking of it.  And when my father posted "Cat Needs Home" flyers at his Elks Lodge for each of the cats on the List, I wept for hours.

No matter that I have so many cats, each of them is family, and giving them up will be the hardest thing I can imagine, unless we lose our house.

How Time Flies

I suppose the excuse that I have an infant daughter can be brought to bear here, but I still feel badly that I've been neglecting this blog. Especially since my last post was so negative.

Unfortunately Sully is still peeing on things he shouldn't. However, he isn't attacking me quite so much, and he still loves Veronica and the husband.  We are still giving him Prozac, which he takes well from "his Daddy" and responds to rather well.

On a great note, Anya Gray is doing very well.  She had reverted to hiding in the bedroom for a while but has now become just as social in the main house as everyone else, more than some.  She now eats all her meals in the kitchen in general population and comes to meet me when I come home from being away.

Both Sully and Anya are Prozac success stories.  I should explain that I am not a fan of medicating every problem.  I personally was on anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication for years until I weaned off of them in 2005.  I very rarely take antibiotics or pain medication (especially now that I'm a nursing mother), and I generally treat most "great breakthroughs" in medicine with speculation.  Knowing all that, I absolutely love how well Prozac works on cats.  So far, and it has been used for quite a while "off label" in the veterinary community, there has been no evidence of side effects after long term use.  I can't speak personally for it's use in dogs, but in my experience, it is a life saver.  Although I did have Luna Moth on the drug for a while for aggression and it made her "flat" like some humans experience. Once I took her off of it, she started purring and looking for affection again.  She still exhibits some aggression issues, but as long as her stressors aren't stressed, she's quite manageable.

I am experiencing some financial hardship at this time like a large percentage of American population, which means certain things have to change.  Unfortunately, our cats' food has been one of those changes.  We were feeding them fairly high quality natural diets and have had to go to a more "grocery store" quality food. The difference is distressing and may be worth switching back.  Everyone has lost weight, including some of the cats who couldn't afford it.  Ambrose looks three years older.  Everyone is getting a little greasy.  Proof, in my mind, that good quality food is worth every penny.

On a happy note, Monday was gorgeous, so I took Veronica for a walk in her stroller and invited Luna Moth to join us.  She rode in the basket under the stroller, wearing her harness and leash.  It was a wonderful moment that I will cherish for ever.

Oh and "the Kittens" are officially a year old, as of March 6th.