Conflicted

It may surprise people to learn that we don't generally feed the stray cats in our yard. We have a great environment for rodentia and birds, running water and birdbaths most of the year, and a compost pile that's really a smorgasbord for any scavenger needing a snack. So I suppose I should say we don't feed the strays cat food. There are reasons for this. Most communities are making feeding stray cats illegal. We can't afford to buy tons of cat food for the strays. And we already have so many visitors I don't think we could handle more permanent residents. Plus both my front and back porches smell like male cat spray.

However, there are times I wish we could feed them.

There is a small black female with a white spot on her chest who has been coming around for about two years now who we just love. She's timid and agile and probably pregnant again and it breaks my heart to see her drinking melted snow and stalking mice.

There's a huge old tom we call "Snowshoe Something" because he looks vaguely like a snowshoe cat. He sprays the bumper of my car and gets in fights at 2am and I actually worry if I don't see him for more than a week.

The black and white tuxedo cat that hides under our shed in spring.

The gray tiger tom I haven't seen this winter.

I really do love them all, just from a distance.

Last night a coworker brought a sick stray in to work that had been hanging around her house and her outside cats. He was neutered, so someone paid attention at one time. But he was in end stage feline leukemia and drowning. We had to euthanise him. She is terrified for the wellbeing of her cats and even though mine are all inside only I felt the chill of her fear. Feleuk and FIV are the bane of feral cats and outside cats alike. This is why as much as I love the strays, I can't get too attached or invite them closer.

Today I took pictures of the little black female and a new white and tiger patched kitty and offered them hard cooked eggs in the compost. I hope they have someplace warm to go tonight.